Please Keep Your Hands Inside the Trolly

I just got back from a wonderful weekend in San Francisco. It was an adventure, to say the least. We explored Chinatown, crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, at fish-n-chips on the wharf, almost kicked a homeless man in a sleeping bag, got sent to and escaped from prison, hugged a giant Redwood tree, got caught in a parade, and drove down the world's most curvy street in an Expedition. I could share one funny story after another, but I'd like to write about a few very real lessons I learned. 

It didn't take me long to realize that I'm afraid of the "big city."  I've lived in my little bubble for so long that any time I find myself outside of it, I panic. I'm afraid of getting lost or mugged, and I hate the feeling of knowing that I'm such  a small part of everything around me. These feelings really challenged me. I don't want my boys to grow up being afraid of the world. Yes, I know that as a follower of Jesus, I am called to live a life set apart for holiness, but I don't want my pursuit to honor Him to keep me confined to my hula-hoop of safety. I don't think that's what he wants either. Being exposed to the reality and ugliness of sin  and the brokenness of this world is hard to bear, but  how can I really develop a love for people if I'm not comfortable meeting them where they are? 

I touched on this already, but I want to expand a little. Walking among the skyscrapers, walking in the Muir Woods,  and crossing the GG Bridge made me feel so small. I needed a reminder that I am not the center of the universe. It was humbling to remember that I am like a dust spec, and my little world is a teeny tiny part of everything that goes on. Being faced with my own smallness makes me so thankful that my God is so BIG!!!! Yes, he made the ocean and the mountains, but His delight in is Me- the crown of creation! What a beautiful love story. When I saw the sunset in the Bay or gazed at the tallest trees I will probably every see, my heart worshipped. I love and serve a God who made all of those things, whose beauty is indescribable, but I am made in HIS image! 

It was an amazing experience to see the beauty of what God has made and to marvel and what He has equipped man to make. I stood on the bridge and was awed  at the capabilities that God has given us. He has built in us a desire to make, to build, and to create because He is a God who makes, builds, and creates. These desires are intended to point us to Him. My heart was so saddened when I saw such blatant examples of ways that man has taken what God has made and morphed it into something ugly and unholy. Covenant marriage is no longer seen as picture of God and the Church. It's seen as a civil right available for anyone. We've let it become cheap. My heat just hurts for all of the people who want a cheap imitation when God designed and offers the best. It's like going buying a ring at the dollar store when Tiffany's is across the street. I will admit that I am a people-pleaser and I like for those around me to be happy, but I am not willing to endanger things that are precious to me just so others can feel good. It's a hard and delicate balance, and I pray that God will teach me more and more to be a woman who loves people and who passionately stands for His Truth.